Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Dispatches From Lagos: Caveat Emptor

Spotted from somewhere around the Oworo end of 3rd Mainland Bridge this morning:

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CAVEAT EMPTOR

THIS LAND IS NOT FOR SALE

OWNER IS VERY MUCH AROUND WATCHING THE ACTIVITIES OF 419s

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(The "land" in question is beneath the bridge, in a sprawling slum that something tells me will one day be demolished, Maroko-style, by the Government)

***

Once upon a time, it used to simply read:

Caveat Emptor: Let the buyer beware.

Now, it has lengthened.

And something tells me it will continue to get longer. More and more English (and perhaps Latin or Greek) will need to be added as fraudsters get more sophisticated in their acts...

Until:

One day we shall see a warning, thusly:

CAVEAT EMPTOR
THIS LAND IS NOT FOR SALE
OWNER IS VERY MUCH AROUND WATCHING THE ACTIVITIES OF 419s.
IN OWNER'S ABSENCE, A STATE-OF-THE-ART SATELLITE SERVICE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA HAS BEEN COMMISSIONED AND PAID FOR TO KEEP WATCH OVER THIS PROPERTY. TRESPASSERS WILL BE PHOTOGRAPHED AND TAGGED ELECTRONICALLY FROM OUTER SPACE, AND WILL AUTOMATICALLY ENTER AMERICAN INTERNATIONAL TECHNOLOGICAL DATABASE FOR CRIME, YAHOO-YAHOO, DOLLAR-CHOPPING AND OTHER RELATED FORMS OF DEFRAUDMENT.
BE WARNED.