Monday, December 18, 2006

Crash Landing @ ThursdayNite.com

Saw a movie on channels tv last thursday night. Channels movie slot starts around 11pm. I missed the opening portions, but still I think I must have started to pay attention quite early on in the movie.

*
Two girls are in a car (one of them is driving) on a road that winds across a cliff. The brakes fail, the car loses control and leaps off the edge of the cliff into the water below, with a sickening splash (sounds like the car broke on impact).

*
A girl is preparing to take her bath. She undresses, and goes into a filled bath. Camera also follows the movement of a gloved intruder in the house, watching the girl, preparing to strike. Girl settles comfortably into the water. Intruder picks up electrified object (hair dryer?) and from where he is standing tosses it into the bath. Girl jerks to death. Obvious electrocution.

*
Girl enters train, and makes her way to an empty coach at the back, in search of a seat. Man (already seated) gets up and begins to follow her. Once they are alone, he begins to talk to her. Apparently she knows him. Next thing he’s flung coach door open and pushed her off, to her (instant) death.

At this stage, anyone watching is (most likely) going to be hooked. You start to see a connection between the strange deaths that open the film. Why are girls dying? What’s happening? Serial killer?

Then your fears get confirmed when, a few scenes later, two men (pathologists) converse in a morgue, and examine the bodies of the two drowned girls. And one of them says something like: “It’s a bad day for air hostesses!” he goes on to explain to his perplexed colleague that this is the fourth air-hostess corpse he has seen that day.

And then the hook gets hookier.

Then, when a plane carrying a billionaire’s daughter and her “revelryous” friends is hijacked by the crew (the supposed “hosts” and “hostesses”), everything becomes very clear.

Now we know why the real hostesses were done away with.

The billionaire’s daughter’s bodyguard is the hero of the movie, taking out all six (five fatalities, one arrest) hostage-takers through the course of the movie, and landing the Boeing 747 on an improvised runway on an atoll in the middle of nowhere (atoll populated by American soldiers doing God-knows-what) , whilst a not-small storm is raging…

One has come to expect these things from Hollywood. Blissful suspension of belief ;-)

Twice, when he is at the mercy of a gun-totting hostage-taker, seconds away from the trigger’s last dance, the billionaire’s daughter saves him by
1) hitting attacker from behind
2) arrowing attacker from behind (with something that looks like an arrow-gun)

There’s something we say in Nigeria: Actor no dey die!

I enjoyed the movie, apart from the co-pilot who was killed by the hostage takers, there were no fatalities amongst the passengers (Pilot was shot too, but he made it). Unlike in Snakes on a Plane, where the snakes carried out a massacre of plane passengers. Shudder, shudder!

When the credits were showing, I thought I might see the name of the movie. I didn’t, but I made sure to take the name of the hero. Antonio Sabato, Jr.

This morning I turned to Wiki. Wise, wise one, tell me the name of the movie. To my disappointment, Wiki said “sorry, can’t be of help!”


IMDB eventually turned out to be the saviour.

Movie Title:
Crash Landing (2005)

PS. Channels was acting stupid that Thursday Night. Early part of the movie they were showing adverts every 3-4 minutes. They do that often though. Crazy. Eventually, I guess the guy pressing the “show advert” button dozed off. The adverts died along with the kidnappers ;-)

PostScript

Below is a "murderous" ;-)) review of the film by mianobekes from Hungary, on the IMDB page

"This film was embarrassing in its clich├ęs, poor acting and generally low production values. It starts out badly with the long haired 3 star general calling the hero, Masters, "major" when he is obviously wearing the silver oak leaves of lieutenant colonel. But what was most distressing was the crew of soldiers on Neptune Atoll. How out of touch with any kind of reality can you get? They were all experts on flying a 747 and the scenes of the soldiers digging the ditch were beyond comical.
WARNING: THIS FILM IS DANGEROUS TO YOUR INTELLECTUAL HEALTH! WATCH AT YOUR OWN PERIL! "

4 comments:

Teva said...

You write beautifully...i admire that!You wouldnt by any chance have been to babcock or ISL?

Teva said...

k..Wrong ogunlesi ...google found you out. wonderful writing tho!

BOA said...

Teva,
howdy!
Thanks for dropping by!
Google finds everyone out! ;-)
It is the first wonder of the new civilisation!

Btw, at least 2 ogunlesis appear in babcock's matric files... one a cousin, the other a bro...

ISL? Nah!. But you're very close. Change the "L" to "I"...

cheers
BOA
PS. Thanks for the kind words 'bout my writing...

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